Teaching Children to Pray

Teaching Our Children to Pray - A Personal Journey from a Mom\

By Tracie Mayes Stewart

 

As a parent we want the very best for our children.  And as Christians there is nothing more important to give our children a firm foundation in the faith. I truly believe that the greatest gift I can give my sons is to help them develop a relationship with Jesus Christ. If they will seek God’s perfect plans for their lives and obey His commandments, I know they will have lives that are more than the greatest dreams I could dream for them.

 

But I must confess that I thought about their faith development much more from my “head” than from my “heart.”  It was easy to read Bible stories and talk about all the great things God did every day.  I confess I did not put as much energy and thought into helping them learn how to pray. I just did what I knew how to do. Brian and I taught them to pray as we had been taught – with blessings before meals and good night prayers.

 

Growing up with two pastors as their parents, I initially thought this was okay.  After all, faith is caught more than taught. Even with three theological degrees between us, Brian and I basically followed what our parents had taught us.  We said blessings before meals and had prayers as we tucked in the boys. I had really never thought about teaching my children to pray. Isn’t it something you just know?

 

Over the years I have come to realize it is and it isn’t.  We are all born with a desire to know God, but we have to be taught how to seek Him. Fortunately, God had mercy on me and my two young sons.  A parent in the church I was working in asked me how she should teach her child to pray.  I immediately looked for a book to recommend and realized there wasn’t much on this. And I realized with horror it was something I had not given much attention to with my own sons.

 

That question changed me. I wanted my children to talk freely with God. But rather than praying freely with them I had taught them the prayers I had grown up saying and considered the task done.  So here are a few suggestions from things I have learned over the years:

 

1)      Think about the prayers you teach.  They will have great influence. View them through the eyes of child. And explain what the words mean and why you see them as important.  My father was taught “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” as a boy. One day in Sunday School he asked for the teacher to explain what “IFISHEDIE” meant. He thought it was a Bible word. Imagine his horror at learning he had been praying “If I Should Die.” The prayer he had thought was a source of comfort was now about his death. Fortunately, he discussed it with his mother who explained what a blessing it was to ask Jesus to protect you in both this life and the next.

 

2)      Allow children to open their heart to God.  We are all used to hearing lovely prayers in worship. Often these prayers have stood the test of many centuries. We tend to think that prayer sounds lofty and holy – and it can. But much prayer is just a raw cry of the heart. Nothing is too small to escape God’s Providential care. Children know this.  Often after praying a prayer we taught them, our boys would add their “God bless”es. They would ask God to bless worms, stuffed animals, tv characters, and most of all, our cat. I was troubled. I wanted them to understand this was serious. But these petitions were serious to them. It reflected their offering all that most mattered in their world to God. And I am glad to report that as they grew their prayers grew more mature too.

 

3)      Model prayer every chance you get. My sons had a playmate over. Suddenly I heard a cry and ran to find a skinned knee. The friend was in tears and as I comforted her I realized I could not provide the touch of her mother which was what she really needed. But I did have her Heavenly Father available. I prayed over the “boo-boo” asking God and Jesus to make it all better soon. Imagine my surprise when the prayer dried her eyes. And then I saw the look on my boys’ faces. That day they learned when we are hurt or scared, we go to the Lord in prayer. And it was a much better lesson than my words could have ever taught them.

 

4)      Pray about the things around you.  My little sister was very sick and had several close calls with death.  My mother told us whenever we saw an ambulance to pray “because it could be your sister and you would want people to be praying for her.” Post 9/11 fire trucks and police cars speeding by also receive our prayers. If you watch the news and a disturbing situation is highlighted, taking time to pray about it can be a great comfort. Encouraging older children to pray about the events in their community and the world is a great way to teach them empathy and compassion. Websites such as Voices of the Martyrs dedicated to the persecuted can help older teenagers follow situations that need prayer.

 

5)      Pray for the church and its ministries. Praying for those on our prayer list over prayers during a Sunday meal is another great way to teach children to pray for others. Getting involved in one of the many missions LMPC supports and praying regularly for that mission is another way to make prayer come alive to a child. Praying for those our mission serve reminds us that we are to care for one another.

 

6)      Pray together prayers with special meaning for your family. A friend prays the Lord’s Prayer as part of family prayers. Another family we know has a mother who is Dutch. They pray a treasured Dutch blessing before meals in Dutch even though the children are very young.  They then explained to us what it meant in a way that was most impressive. When my brother was in pre-school he learned about Johnny Appleseed complete with a blessing. We loved that blessing and sang it for years complete with a fake strumming of an air guitar after we said Amen and screamed Johnny Appleseed. Strum Strum! We were allowed to strum as long as the rest of the blessing was respectful and reverent. Some families sing a stanza of a hymn. Find what works for you.

 

7)      Pray before you travel. Dedicate each day to God over breakfast. Build a habit of prayer at night so it persists long after children are too old to “tuck in.” Pray over any problems your children bring to you.  Model prayer for them and let them see you praying together as a couple. Also model prayers when friends come over.

 

8)      Holidays are great times to stress prayer.  An advent wreath offers a wonderful way to worship as a family. There are also great worship tools for Lent and Easter available. Don’t worry if you miss a day. Just do your best. One of Brian’s (my husband’s) favorite Christmas memories was his grandfather reading the Christmas story from the family Bible and praying over the family. The toys faded but Papaw’s prayers remain. This Christmas one of Brian’s aunts started a memory wreath.  We light candles for loved ones in heaven and give thanks for their lives and faith. This is so that the next generation will know their heritage and that the most important part of that heritage is faith.

 

9)      Blessings – I went to a conference when my sons were young where the speaker talked about praying blessings upon our children. In the Old Testament a blessing held real power. Praying for your child and blessing their future decisions and life has been a meaningful tool to teach them the power of prayer.

 

10    Praying together when facing a crisis shows children their prayers matter. It also shows them to go to the Lord when they need help.

 

So now it is your turn.  Share your tips for teaching your children to pray.  And share the prayers you use in your family and how you use them. I’ve started with a few.

 

Family Prayers

 

Be near me, Lord Jesus!
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to heaven
To live with Thee there.

Amen. (Jesus Loves Me)

God is great and God is Good,
And we thank God for our food;
By God's hand we must be fed,
Give us Lord, our daily bread.
Amen. – Traditional

 

Thank you for the world so sweet,
Thank you for the food we eat.
Thank you for the birds that sing,
Thank you God for everything.

Father, we thank thee for the night,
And for the pleasant morning light;
For rest and food and loving care,
And all that makes the day so fair.

Help us to do the things we should,
To be to others kind and good;
In all we do, in work or play,
To grow more loving every day. -- Rebecca Weston - 1890

 

God in heaven hear my prayer,
keep me in thy loving care.
Be my guide in all I do,
Bless all those who love me too.
Amen. -- Traditional

Now, before I run to play,
Let me not forget to pray
To God who kept me through the night
And waked me with the morning light.
Help me, Lord, to love thee more
Than I ever loved before,
In my work and in my play
Be thou with me through the day.
Amen.  --- Author Unknown

 

Jesus, help my eyes to see
All the good Thou sendest me.
Jesus, help my ears to hear
Calls for help from far and near.
Jesus, help my feet to go
In the way that Thou wilt show.
Jesus, help my hands to do
All things loving, kind, and true.
Jesus, may I helpful be,
Growing every day like Thee.
Amen.

 

Come Lord Jesus,
our guest to be
and bless these gifts bestowed by Thee. Amen

 

Bless us Oh Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive through thy bounty through Christ Our Lord, Amen

 

Lord Jesus Christ, be Thou our guest,
and share the food which Thou hast blessed. Amen

 

Heavenly Father, great and good,
We thank thee for this daily food.
Bless us even as we pray;
Guide and keep us through this day. Amen

 

For food in a world where many walk in hunger;
For faith in a world where many walk in fear;
For friends in a world where many walk alone;
We give you thanks, O Lord. Amen.

 

Be present at our table, Lord!
Be here and everywhere adored.
Your mercies bless, and grant that we
May feast in Paradise with Thee! Amen

 

Thank you for the food we eat,
Thank you for the friends we meet.
Thank you for the birds that sing,
Thank you, God, for everything. Amen

 

 

The Johnny Appleseed Blessing

Oh, the Lord is good to me,
And so I thank the Lord
For giving me the things I need
The sun, and the rain, and the apple seed.
The Lord is good to me.